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Your Life, Your Message


Prosperity Coach Puja

 

 


Let me begin by thanking the person, who uploaded this beautiful message so artistically online & yes, I did look it up on the web.

Do we ever take a moment to think what meaning our life is conveying to others? When was the last time you took a moment to think about what kind of people, thoughts, and places attract you? What importance do we attach do our daily seemingly insignificant task?

It is interesting to realize that every single action of ours, or absence of action, speaks volumes of who we really are. Deep within, our values, our beliefs guide us every moment. Even when someone says “I didn’t have a choice”, there is a choice; that is how different people react to different situations differently.

During the onslaught on the Taj Mumbai, 31 people died and 28 were hurt, but the hotel received only praise the day after. Its guests were overwhelmed by employees’ dedication to duty, their desire to protect guests without regard to personal safety, and their quick thinking. Restaurant and banquet staff rushed people to safe locations such as kitchens and basements. Telephone operators stayed at their posts, alerting guests to lock doors and not step out. Kitchen staff formed human shields to protect guests during evacuation attempts. As many as 11 Taj Mumbai employees—a third of the hotel’s casualties—laid down their lives while helping between 1,200 and 1,500 guests escape.” …. Excerpt from ‘The ordinary Heroes of Taj’, Harvard Business Review

Did the employees say “I didn’t have a choice”. They made a choice, in the spur of the moment, consciously or unconsciously, they choose to help.

I still wonder what was driving those employees to put their guest lives above their own. What kind of value system, the leadership has which is so strong it reverberates, down the line to every employee. What value does each of the employees have?

What values do you hold? What drives you? It doesn’t have to be heroic, the idea is not to go looking for heroic moments, but understanding first, what is it that really drives you? What do you want to be remembered for?

ProsperityCoach Puja is ICF (ACC) Certified InnerMost Shift Coach and trainer. She has been an eminent HR professional with keen interest in the field of People Growth & Development.

Why ME!!


Kamaljit Dhillon

 

 

You don’t have to spend a single penny to be sad.

Have you ever thought about it?

On top of that, you can be sad anytime, anywhere with no prior planning and most importantly no hard work… actually no work at all.

It’s the best excuse for not doing anything. You only have to pretend to yourself and others that you are not in control of some area of your life and you are done. How you pretend to yourself is because you conveniently forget that taking action would solve your issue and you do it because it’s the easier option.

It, then, becomes the duty of the people who care for you to make you feel good. As a result, not only are you not doing anything constructive but also hindering the growth of people in your environment. Slowly and gradually this becomes a habit which turns into a behavioural pattern.

Most of us would rather be sad and depressed than actually get up from our bed and be willing to give life a chance because going out would mean actually giving it a try. But trial doesn’t always turn to victory! Oh God! What if I fail? At a subconscious level, we choose to believe that we are incapable rather than trying.

Now the question is whether you want to lead this sort of a life filled with self created limitations or do you want to be the “MASTER OF YOUR DESTINY”!

As I always tell my clients, the key is to stop playing the victim, reorganise their thoughts and be accountable for their actions. Believe me, it is as simple to be happy as it is to be sad. If you suffer, it is because of you. If you  feel blissful, it is because of you. Nobody else is responsible.

 

Times Change, Mentalities Don’t


Sneha Chandak

 

 

“Why should boys have all the fun?” is a tagline of a famous automobile brand as we all know. But for me, it’s also the topic for my debutante blog. When I think a bit deeper about this, I feel , with the speed that this world is getting converted into a hell, only boys should have all the fun (fun has no fixed definition and can go to any extent btw). I would like to emphasise on the dirt in the minds of today’s society, rather than discussing the extremely brutal and uncontrollable physical abuse.

Gone are the days when the world was a safe place to live in. Sometimes, i feel, was it safer in the older times, or was it a thing that I liked to believe in! Not that I am a feminist, but are the fun things really meant for the men only? Why is it when I casually go out with a female friend for drinks on a Saturday night, or for that matter, even a late night movie show; that some of the people around, get judgmental about our characters and the families we come from? Never does it happen so strongly in case of guys. Why? Because everyone thinks its normal for men and don’t have the mentality to digest the same for women. I know that mentality like this won’t change overnight, but it won’t even change if people don’t make an effort to do so. 

When I call this society full of male chauvinist people, my guy friends often make fun of me calling me a feminist. That’s exactly what I want to prove over here. When you expect a fair distribution of rights and point out that the fairer sex are not getting it, people think you want brownie points for being a girl. But hello, it should be equal, neither minus nor plus, just fairly EQUAL!

What I like to believe in is that if our generation gets this basic point right, then only we will be able to inculcate it in the unprogrammed minds of our tiny tots in the coming future. I want a future which is a little less scarier and fairer! 

What do you want to be compensated for?


Prosperity Coach Puja

 

 

Another appraisal cycle gone by, a different company you working for, you joined this company what … 2 – 3 years ago. When you joined you probably thought things will be different this time round, this company is better, the earlier one my manager did not understand a thing.

Do you hear a voice in your head saying “I worked so hard, but boss just doesn’t see that, all he sees is that .. that idiot Ray with his sleek method of getting things done”

Or maybe what you hear is “What does it matter how much the Shreya slogs, I am the one getting results, I am the one the customers want to talk to, why doesn’t boss understand that?”

If you are one of the few lucky ones (and I say lucky cautiously here), then you have a boss whose values the same thing in work environment as you do.

And you are luckier if your boss, your HR & the management think alike, and value the same thing. What this means for you is that the company values what it says it values, and the appreciated values, behaviors are not some written decorative paper used to beautify the corridors and the all important management presentation.

Putting it simply, every company has its core values, while some companies are able to hire and/or imbibe the core values in its employees, most companies give in to the pressure of performance and numbers, and over time people are hired at all levels without really checking if the values are aligned. Some try to bridge the gap with value alignment training programs and workshop, and for some even that takes a back seat.

So what it means to you as the employee is that you want to be rewarded for the behavior you think is right, whereas your boss rewards for the behavior, boss thinks is right.

Ever heard the saying, “Employees leave Managers, not companies”. Most managers everywhere are being educated about this saying, here’s what I want you to think about – “How well do you know what is it you want to be compensated for?”

Remember Compensation is not only the salary credited in your bank account at the end of the month, it is also what behavior you want to be rewarded for everyday

Sit down for a moment, think back to a time:

  • What behavior of yours when you were rewarded for were you the happiest?
  • What is it that you rewarded someone for, could be in your organization, among friends or family?
  • In terms of consistent behavior, what is it others would say about you?

Keep in mind we are not talking wrong or right, be it risk taking or process orientation, be it meeting deadlines or surpassing quality, all behavior is important and has its own significance.

Once you know yours, choose a company (a boss) that values the same, and experience your luck changing. If you choose well a company where you, your manager, your HR and the company value the same behavior you have chosen to be lucky in having a good work environment. Next appraisal cycle, have your boss standing right behind you, supporting you in your endeavors.

More and more choosing a company you want to work for is a matter of your right.

When you go for an interview, think of it not as a paycheck at the end of the month, but as a place where you will walk in everyday, and be spending most of your time. You want to be happy during this time.

ProsperityCoach Puja is ICF (ACC) Certified InnerMost Shift Coach and trainer. She has been an eminent HR professional with keen interest in the field of People Growth & Development.

Unfair & Lovely


Sneha Chandak

 

 

Last weekend, when I was out with friends, while taking a mandatory selfie, light happened to fall only at a specific angle of the camera lens and click! My friend reacts on seeing the picture, “Main kaali aai hu (Translation: “I look dark in this one”). Let’s take one more pic”. This is not the first time that I heard this. Though this was a regular minor affair, I have also come across some major incidents that come under nothing but racism- a disease many people tend to have.

When I was a kid, I wanted fair skin like my mother. I kept comparing my skin tone to hers everyday after bathing, because at that time, I had this perception that bathing properly everyday can make you look fairer (Courtesy: Soundarya Sabun Nirma Ad featuring Sonali Bendre). Foolish, I admit. But I would like to call that sheer innocence 😛 As I was growing up, I realized that describing people by their skin complexion was normal in the society I live in; and the words like black, white, fair, dark, gora, kaala became very familiar to my ears. Moreover, the fairness cream ads on TV, ah! I feel they are meant to make not so fair skinned people feel bad about themselves.

When I became a little more matured, I realized that people include their skin color in their marriage biodatas. People in the remote areas of our nation, who are still carrying out illegal & shameful activities like dowry, demand more money if the girl is not fair, irrespective of how handsome the groom is! No wonder, the illiterate parents of such girls curse the Almighty for their child’s dark skin. If you are thinking that things in the cultured educated society are different, then think again! Out of 10 people I meet everyday, 6 happen to directly or indirectly talk about racism. Forget the people outside, lets talk about family. I have heard my relatives say things like “Ladka gora hona chahiye, humari beti kitni gori chitti sundar hain” (Translation: “The groom should be fair skinned as our daughter is flawlessly fair and beautiful”) while finding my cousin a perfect match for marriage. At times like these, I feel helpless. All I do is wish that people understand that all colors are equally beautiful.

My skin tone is dusky- for those, who know this complexion exists; and it’s dark- for the remaining others, for whom the only tone that matters is fair. So what if I am not fair? I feel lucky to be different. For people who feel bullied on the grounds of color, stand for yourself and make the bullies realize how small their thinking is. For people who are unhappy with their complexion, here’s something beautiful I read sometime back, “Stop trying to fit in, when you are meant to stand out”! Lets say NO to racial discrimination & make this world, a more ‘colorful’ place to live in! #SayNoToRacism

Solve Conflict Using NLP


Prosperity Coach Puja

 

 

In today’s life a very small, simple thing can turn out to be a big conflict easily. Be it in the school or workplace, in the road or the airport, or even the market place, a simple gesture, an incorrect word, just about anything can result in a conflict.

Don’t you like everyone else know, there is seldom, if ever, a good outcome to a conflict. Remember the last time you were in a situation of conflict, how did you feel. Didn’t it feel like a never ending argument, with all parties involved shouting at the top of their voices, leaving you with a feeling like you will drown in the noise. Just wanting to get out of there, or feeling your fist tighten up with rage, or was it helplessness of not knowing or being able to do anything about the situation.

We all know getting angry, fighting, raising ones voice nerves only one purpose, to spoil the situation further rather than resolve anything.

Even if you are in the midst of one such situation, have you ever noticed a voice in your head saying “I know this is not the right thing to do, but God help me, I just can’t stop myself.

It is seen that when in the middle of a conflict if you match the volume, speed and tonality of the voice of the person, with matching the angry contents it usually worsens the matter and results in increasing the intensity of the conflict.

On the other hand, if you are cool in such a situation, match the volume, speed and tonality of the voice of the person, without matching the angry contents, you are in effect pacing, i.e. meeting the other party in their zone of the moment for a while, and then when you slow down, breathe, to a calmer way of speaking, you will be magically leading the person into a calmer and more peaceful way of communicating.

An emotion of conflict, does not get over with the situation, most people tend to carry it forward by constantly thinking about the conflict people tend to multiply the unwanted harmful effects of the negative emotions.

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Program) serves a vast and brilliant set of tools for controlling or rather resolving conflicts that arise in day to day hang out.

Getting in touch with your pattern of thinking, and being able to disassociate with any unwanted feeling, if it so arises, and being able to carry on with the day and sometimes life with a much calmer, oriented self is an all important skill for any successful person and for leading a happy, peaceful life.

Every successful, outstanding person has the ability to stay calm and unmoved in an unfavorable situation, to disassociate from the ongoing conflict, and look beyond the obvious.

Dr. Richard Bandler in 1970s, came up with a theory that all Human Beings have a perfectly systematic method of doing things in their mind.

Further research, with a sense of curiosity and a will to help people improve their quality of life, Dr. Bandler came up with NLP practitioner program that is today famous all across the world for its many benefits, starting with making YOU aware of how your brain functions.

When you are arguing and when you feel that the conflict or the decision is turning into a heated argument, the practitioner program NLP you learn to divert from the set pattern. Now what does this mean…It simply means you start understanding your brain’s strategy of getting into a conflict, and changing the set pattern.

What has your experience being?

Are you familiar with NLP & NLP strategies for re-solving conflict?

 
ProsperityCoach Puja is ICF (ACC) Certified InnerMost Shift Coach and trainer. She has been an eminent HR professional with keen interest in the field of People Growth & Development.

Identity Crisis


Kamaljit Dhillon

 

 

You get up on a Monday morning and you look around yourself. It’s the usual, regular everyday life. You are doing relatively well in your life as compared to your peers on most accounts. But you don’t feel the happiness. Well, you are not particularly depressed but the feeling is inexplicable. It’s like something is amiss. As the day goes by, you get busy with work, so the feeling slips away. Just at the fag-end of the day, it comes right back!

So you have more or less gone by the book and done (almost) everything that everyone has asked you to do right from childhood. What is right, what is wrong, what is good for us, what is bad for us, who we are (supposed to be).

My job is ideal in terms of financial stability but I want to paint for a living. But at my age everyone should be able to earn at least a decent amount to sustain themselves. My friends are doing it, my parents keep saying it so it must be right. Decision made. Job it is!

Well that’s what you are supposed to think, right?

Then why doesn’t it feel right?

Because that’s not you!

Think about it for a moment. We were born as independent individuals. When we were inside our mother’s womb, our parents were expecting us but we were not expecting anyone or anything. When the time came, we came out in this world without anyone’s help using our own strength. But then, just a single pat on our back took all the credit for the hard work and we became dependent. Thereafter, started off our journey of dependency. Dependency lead to conformity as we grew up. Since we were dependent on our society, right from childhood to old age, we began to conform. People started telling us what to do, what is good or bad for us and we started following them blindly.

As Rita Mae Brown aptly puts, “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself”

Do you know which treasure have we lost along the way?  Our individuality….our identity!

That little feeling is our soul which is constantly yearning for more. It is constantly crying out for something. Stop conforming and get in touch with your real identity!

“You Are Not a Drop in the Ocean
You Are the Entire Ocean in a Drop!”

The Miracles I see with the Eyes of Faith


Prosperity Coach Puja

 

 

The smile, of strength on face of someone who has faced a lot

The belief, somwhere in the heart that things will be alright

The face of a person changing as she / he moves from a place of no hope to a place of immense belief

A dog & cat sleeping together on a mat

A person finding self esteem & love for self in the face of all adversaries

Have Faith in what life has to give, Be Thankful for what you have

Friends, Going through my old dairy, I found these thoughts, I had penned down sometime. Will love to hear from you

 
ProsperityCoach Puja is ICF (ACC) Certified InnerMost Shift Coach and trainer. She has been an eminent HR professional with keen interest in the field of People Growth & Development.

The original Google Maps of Pune


Sneha Chandak

 

 

Who leads you to the right path? God? Well, yes but in today’s world, it’s Google Maps. Few years ago, when I shifted to Pune, roads of this new city were unknown to me and I would look up to the Autowalas for directional help. That’s why I like to call them the original Google Maps of Pune. In this post, I would like to take you through a tour of then-and-now scenarios keeping the Autowalas in the picture.

There was a time when I used to take a parallel lane instead of the actual one or sometimes get lost during the early days. Since I didn’t have a smartphone at that time, Google maps weren’t very popular with me. During such times, the Autowalas, who were always known for the accurate location knowledge and helping nature have always led me to the right path. Few were kind, few were raged, few looked straight-faced; and few others were talkative. But they all showed one common characteristic – Honesty. This is the reason I had the utmost trust on them. Once, at about 9pm, I happened to ask a guy, riding a bike parallel to mine for directions and I realized that I had been misguided only when an Autowala coming from behind, heard that boy giving me the wrong instructions. Damn! If this Autowala wouldn’t have been there, I would have gone in the wrong direction and thinking more about this, gives me shivers! Along with trust, I had also grown immense respect for the Autowalas after this.

But are things the same? I can’t agree entirely! Recently I happened to take an auto and got out of it in just 5 minutes. Why? The meter was wrongly getting incremented, charging me more than a cab would do. Another incident was when I demanded to switch on the meter for fares and refused to pay double the amount of money, as asked by the Autowala, who had his entire gang supporting him and none of them ready to be fair enough. It was then, when I booked an online auto service, which turned up in like 5 minutes and used the meter for fares. And then I realized that the time is not far when this business will be taken over by the upcoming online travel services.

I know there are many others like me, who have been facing and feeling the same. I feel sad today when I see my trust and respect withering away like this. After all, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair”. Anyway, to end on a happy note, let me tell you that I have now got a smartphone and I’m using Google Maps. 😛 But yeah, I still don’t want to take away the title of the ‘Original Google Maps’ from the Autowalas. Why? Everyone deserves a second chance, right? 🙂 #Autowalas #Pune